busi-ness is a disease...

Today's Ash Wednesday. Daniel sms-ed me happy fasting. So funny. Well, it struck me slightly, that instead of feeling fearful (of being hungry), disgrunted (of being hungry!) and sian (of being hungry!!!), I should do so happily.

 

So far, I've just been feeling hungry and slightly miserable....cuz there's a myriad of snacks around and i can't eat 'em. *drools* I guess we have no idea what kind of psychological torment it is to have unfulfilled hunger. Not just unfulfilled, but also the uncertainty of WHEN your need will be fulfilled. We have this luxury but yet it's turned into some "RIGHT" we so deserve.

 

I've always joked - that a hungry woman is an angry woman. maybe i should think twice about that.

 

Yesterday, i realized something about our relationship - and its effects on me. To some extent, I've now shifted my priorities so drastically that i only wanna be with you. Even when I'm out playing pool, I'm sometimes only 'half there'. I gues it's good to have someone etched in my heart. But I wonder if it's healthy. And after pool, the first thing i wanna do is to run home and go online or call u. I have no interest at all to join my pals for dinner and drinks n etc even if it's just nearby.

 

And so many times, I feel like i have no time for all the stuff I committed myself to in church. That i find myself totally lost in my own world. And thus, I found this need to rethink my time management and start to pen down all the things i need to do. I dun find my life very 'busy' but somehow, there's a never-ending list of things that require my attention. It kinda irks me here and there - cuz I dun feel it's a lot yet the burden is heavy. And everything is so diverse you can hardly 'group them together'. IT's like having 10 standalone PCs and doing your work separately on each of them. ugh.

 

I think planning our week helps - like meeting on certain days of the week so we can do our stuff on other days. It gives me some framework of time i have to complete my stuff and also something for me to look forward to. (*blush*) I guess i'm pretty much of a control freak - such that i dun ilke not knowing when i'm going to see you next. It's so much psychologically better to know i'll see you on Thursday than waiting everyday to know if we're meeting :) I believe it also is better for u such that you can concentrate on your work/stuff.